I'd play the victim, but I only have myself to blame.

As we all know, life can take us on a roller coaster ride of emotion. Any day could turn out to be one of the best days of your life, where everything is going extremely well! You wake up on time, you go to class and actually understand the subject matter that was presented, then you take a nap with no interruptions, to then wake up, drink Mtn Dew and make a dinner of elk steak, then play a basketball game and play somewhat decent to then getting to hangout with this extremely cool and beautiful girl you've been to scared to talk to, since like the 2nd week of school. Thats a good day to me! But often times than not, the stars do not line up like that, and you end up waking up late for math, showing up late and having NO idea what you are doing. Then you continue to go to your classes, and continue to get even more confused with how cellular respiration works, how ATP is made, and how inverse functions mean anything to the real world. Then you go to your apt and find out you ate all of your microwavable meals, and you don't have a can opener, and no money to go to 1 of the 3 places to eat in this town. and get…( okay, you get the point) sometimes life can suck! But most everyday, I make things, about…… 100,000 x more difficult or confusing than they need to be! Its amazing, how for a lot of things, I couldn't care less about. Then somethings I care WAY to much about, and it seriously can ruin my day, even week sometimes! Good nit! During college football season, Pretty much all of my small attention span, is used to concentrate  on everything that involves LSU.
    To say the least, "we" as Humans, often times take things for granted and disregard things that aren't important to us, but could be the most important thing to someone else. Like giving old/ not very used items of clothing to friends or to strangers at the DI, that are not in as good of situations as us. Giving a ride to someone that is walking across our frozen tundra of a campus, so that they aren't almost getting frost bite by the time they get to class.
       We can always do more for others, and I know that when I help others more than myself, I feel a lot better about who I am, and how life is going. Trust me, its not easy at all to serve others more than yourself, but when you do, you feel more at peace and more positive and happy…Don't  take this as, that I think I'm some perfect saint or what ever.. because I feel like I am very selfish and only look to please myself, but when I do go out of my way to help others, my "problems" seem to diminish rapidly.
         So I think we all can do better job of realizing what we have, and not making a big deal of things we don't have.. We all have SO much to offer, we just have to discover where our skills and personalities flourish. I know that I am not good at math, science and most everything that takes place in a class room, I can't be an accountant, business man, or a military man. But I know that I am good at reading and dealing with other people, and with that skill of working with people, combined with my love of history and the outdoors, has made me a good Adventure Guide.

     I guess to wrap up my thoughts, (again) we all have so much to offer, and we should all try to be more positive toward our endeavors and really that we aren't just dust in the wind, that we are not meaningless and we all have a purpose on this earth. Also, We need to realize how much we are blessed with ( I'm really, really bad at this) and we need to put more emphasis on the positives and not so much on the negatives.. The negatives are good ( I know it never seems like it) if we use them right, and learn from them! Quit being your worst enemy and losing the game, before it even starts. And when no body believes in you and life seems to be the darkest, you better believe in yourself.

Into the Wild

With school starting tomorrow, I feel inspired to write a blog about all of the other things I would rather be doing, and those include: eating Boudin till I pass out,  Drinking Tremendous amounts of Mtn Dew, getting a horse and chasing sunsets, getting a snowmobile and riding up some mountain until I run out of gas, then go snowshoeing and survive in the wilderness, or maybe swallowing glass…. what ever the case may be, I still have to go to school this semester to finish up my associate of science, and pre reqs for my outdoor recreation degree at SUU next fall. With that being said, I plan on being in school for the next couple years, to finish my bachelors degree, so I might as well try to make the most of my college experience. When the semester first starts, one of two things happens. You either start off gung-ho and do work at the beginning and go hard for the first couple weeks, until your first exam, then you kinda abandon ship. Or you start off hating class and dreading it for the whole semester.. Well, I think its better to work hard since you are paying for it ( or work harder because your parents are paying for it) either way, someone is paying some serious money for you to attend higher education. Sometimes the semester seems like a major drag, and sometimes it is, but in hind site it is incredibly short! every semester I seem to go to, ends up going by faster than the last one, which went by very fast. Just like in sports practice, it seems like the worst when you have extra conditioning, or weights after practice. studying is in a way just like that, it is absolutely terrible while you are doing it, but when you study or work hard in general, there is never a bad side effect. You might not get to go out with your buds one night, or take a cute gal you've had your eye on for a while, but it'll all work out in the end for the better!

I guess to get back to the title// Into The wild……

last semester I had an American Literature class, in which we read, read and read some more. sometimes awful, but other times great! My favorite times in class were when we got to read thoreau and whitman! These authors painted incredible pictures of life in the Wild, that got my imagination going! during class while we would discuss these topics, my mind was really never in class, but somewhere in an untamed land with no laws and natures justice ruling the land! Somewhere that you didn't have to worry about school, peoples very sensitive feelings, fashion and random peoples drama.. a place where you're animal instincts come in, and you just survive. 

Unless I move to remote Alaska, Canada or Russia thats most likely not going to happen, so I'm going to make the  most out of my situation at hand in O Little town of Ephraim. My degree is going to be in outdoor recreation so not only I can participate in the finer activities of life, but so I can show others what its like to really like to LIVE WILD and experience nature for the better. To not be scared of the wild unknown, but to embrace and harness that inner explorer inside them! To keep the semester from getting to dull, I chose to take a Backpackng and a bowling class! Besides that, I made a goal to at least once a week, to go out and explore!

Well, Ace, Im out of here for now, but remember to make the most out of your situations and LIVE WILD!

New Year won't make you a New Person.

With Christmas being over, there is pretty much only one thing on peoples minds, and that is the most over rated "Holiday" we have, and that is New Years Eve…. To me, New years eve, just is an excuse to behave in what other cases, is socially frowned upon. Lets be honest, when else is it okay to publicly kiss people and get crazy drunk or loud and annoying (Not that I care about loud & annoying, because I am. But thats besides the point) New years is an excuse to do things you wouldn't ever think of doing the other 364 days a year,because for some reason, you can only go out and be adventurous the day before the calendar changes numbers…. 

     New Years resolutions have to be one of the most ridiculous things I have ever hear of…. don't get me wrong, making goals, and committing yourself to be a better person  is awesome. But whats the point of telling others  that your goal is to wake up at 530 and go running every morning, when you have not worked out once this year! (well, for me, 3 years. Oh well haha!)

So to say the least, I don't like New Years Eve.. But I can see how people can.. We use any excuse possible to act out of control and party!

New years eve kisses…… I personally hate, because I despise PDA (and no girls want to kiss me)  But really, get A ROOM! aint nobody wanna see yall smooching on other people! New Years kissing is Almost worse than True *fill in the blank* Night….. Maybe i'm just weird, (which I'm sure is true) but I just think giant public events of affection should be outlawed!             

    For the sake of everyone, before you post a status or something about how you will change the world, make sure you change yourself. You don't need to tell people that you wake up super early to go exercise, or Instagram pictures of how you are eating more healthy….. But if you are going to make your new years resolutions, (because for some reason a new year means a new year) make sure you actually do them, or it'll be like every other year...         

What if life was song lyrics?

So far on Christmas break, the majority of my time has been spent listening to music. I listen to music in the shower in the morning before I head to work, where I mostly listen to my iPod on shuffle the whole day. Drive home and turn on the radio…. Okay, you get it.. I listen to music ALOT. Today I found myself really focusing on the lyrics of the songs, instead of the awesome crazy shredding of Metal, or the cool, calming sounds of country. I was zoned in, on what the songs messages were, and that got my little brain thinking.., "Wow, I wonder what would happen if I really talked to people and expressed myself with those same words? What would happen if I went up to that cute girl that I've been crushing on and spit out some good ole country lyrics?"
Music is one of the biggest parts of my life… Might sound silly, per say. But, music has a way of getting deep down and to the point, strike our feelings like no one, or anything else can. These artists that we listen to, have a deep affect on us, because we can relate with the song. Music can better express our feelings better than we can most times. Sometimes when I listen to a song that I haven't heard in a while, my brain decides to replay pretty much every single memory I have associated with that tune or particular song…. Like when ever I hear Chris browns "Forever" I think of 9th grade promotion, or I hear Atreyu's "Right side of the bed" or Missy Eliots "lose control" I think of when I was 12 years old and my TC Predators team was playing in Cooperstown, NY for a baseball tourney..Luke Bryan's "Country Girl shake it for me" takes me back to the best summer of my life when I was In the great state of Louisiana with my Boy Jake Crump.
Besides bringing up old memories, when you really LISTEN to the music.. (and there is a BIG difference between Listening and hearing) it makes you think, and not only think, but feel certain things… While I was at work today I heard the song "Stay Inspired" by one of my all time favorite bands We Came As Romans!
"Why do we love only when it's convenient to us?
Why do we love only when it's convenient to us?

It is because we don't want to let go
Of the security that a close heart holds?
Or is it the risk of being broken?
Too unbearable to even let the thought surface

There are greater rewards in stepping outside of your own comfort
That there are in never breaking down the walls that you've built

A solely self-sustaining life is surely a hollow one
Why do we love only when it's convenient to us?

Why are we understanding only when it's agreeable?

It is because we don't want to let go
Of the security that a close heart holds?
Or is it the risk of being broken?
Too unbearable to even let the thought surface

There are greater rewards in coexistence
That there are in never breaking down the walls that you've built

A solely self-sustaining life is surely a hollow one
Why do we love only when it's convenient to us?

It's time to take action
It's time to stay inspired
It's time to prove that we aren't all talk
And we're not afraid of the risks"

        If those words don't get you wanting to make peace with your ghosts and enemies, and want to be a better person, then you are really lost.
Besides making you want to better yourself, music can make you want to go out, and have wild adventures, have a grand ole time with your bff's, but can make you want to go out and have some crazy forbidden romance! like the great words of Garth Brooks:
"Hello, Samantha, dear
I hope you're feeling fine
And it won't be long
Until I'm with you all the time
But until then
I'll spend my money
Up right down to my last dime
Callin' Baton Rouge!"
    In conclusion, we can't get away with actually communicating with people the same way people in songs do, but we can always play that person the song, because the music expressed that feeling better than we could ever explain it! Well, hope yall can get as much from music as I do!

How Finals are for me...

With it being finals week, i decided i would take some quality time away from studying, and talk to y'all about  finals.
Finals week. The most scary stories in the world are brought to us, from this. Wither it be losing some giant assignment, having your computer crash at 6 am the day of when your final 10 page essay is due, having to redo every single assignment you have done the whole year up to that point, sleeping in and missing a final, because you forgot what day it was, because all you have been doing in studying and eating and barley seeing the outside light, or having THEE entire semester to do an assignment, but getting to it the morning before you have to turn it in.  We all have our own finals nightmare stories, or at least have heard of them from our friends. But are finals really THAT bad?? I have a bittersweet relationship with finals, because yes it sucks having the biggest assignments/ projects and tests all due at once from all of your classes, but you also have a week of pretty much not doing anything! Take monday for example. I was able to sleep in till about 12, then get up and study the freak out of some math, for my test that day… study all day, go to some review sessions with some other students that are going through the same traumatic experience i am going through. So we bonded because of our genuine hate of mathematics and how our professor is a really nice guy, but is very very extremely smart and awkward. But he can't teach a lick of math, because he knows it, so why shouldn't we??  So we study our little brains off, until they turn to mush. Take the test, actually feel some what confident about it, so i tell myself i deserve a nap! So after walking home and realizing how I actually am an idiot and probably didn't get a single answer right, decide to take a mean nap, to maybe forget how mean the real world really is! So yeah, i guess when I'm stressed ( Which hardly happens, because i usually care a lot less about most everything than anyone! Unless it has to to with LSU sports, then I get real rilled up!) I take naps, but i mostly take naps everyday, just i told myself this is a special nap because I worked so hard to get that mentally tired!
So what I've come to conclude is, that finals week is actually pretty good! Because it actually tests what you know. Imagine you are on a sports team, and you always practiced, but never got to play. Kinda sucks right?? Well, to me, big tests actually make sense to study really hard, to prove you actually know something! That and if you don't have a final that day, you get the whole day to study and actually hangout and do somethings you normally wouldn't! For example, today I didn't have any finals and Dallen, Clark and I made a good roomie dinner of tacos, with ground beef, chile, corn and katchup. because we didn't have any taco sauce… I know it is just tacos, but it meant a lot to us, because we never had any sit down meals with our roomies the whole semester, because everyone is doing their own thing and no one has time to make a nice meal!
Finals week is very bitter sweet, because you find out how amazing us college students really are! I mean who else in the world, ( besides The Rainman) can learn an ENTIRE semesters worth of material in ONE night!?? so the massive amounts of studying sucks, but you also have a few off days to do various activities you never  got to during the semester, or you can literally do nothing and write a blog about finals at 130 in the morning, because you know you can sleep the whole day tomorrow if you so please!
With regards to finals……… use my second rule….. DO WORK!!!

I blame it my my ADHD…. FAIL

I know I haven't been on here in a while. Thats because Ive tried to spend as much time focusing on school as I can, because I actually have classes that require a lot of work! But this particular blog is  more for me, so when I look on my blog site, I will be able to remember everything I put on this. Y'all can also use this as an educational experience to learn about what exactly ADHD is, and how it works.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a problem of not being able to focus, being overactive, not being able control behavior, or a combination of these. For these problems to be diagnosed as ADHD, they must be out of the normal range for a person's age and development.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 9th grade, but I was only on medication for a little while, because I was doing well in school and the medication had a lot of negative side effects. ( ill talk more about that later) So I stopped taking it throughout high school, again because I wasn't really being tested that much, and I was doing well in school. I never had under a 3.0 and usually ended up with a 3.5… but my classes weren't terribly difficult and I couldn't see that it was effecting my baseball game in a negative way. That and I'm super stubborn and don't think I need to take medication to help me out, because I think I can do everything on my own. So I never thought about it again until I was in the MTC (MIssion Training Center)..
     Ill tell you a little about the MTC.. Well when you get there, your family just pulls up to the curb and you hug them and say goodbye, then some elder assigned to you shows you around and where everything is at. Then couple of meetings, then you're pretty much done. But thats just the first day… after that everyday usually has you in a tiny white, small, crammed class room from 8am- 9pm.. You have 3 meals a day and an Exercise period. But you are studying the scriptures and language of your mission (if you have one) but Me being someone who was ALWAYS doing some kind of physical activity, whether it be baseball, basketball, hiking, hunting… what ever it may be, it sure as heck wasn't studying  church doctrine for 12+ hours a day. So I started getting really down that I wasn't learning the language and doctrine as well and fast as the other elders and sisters in my district…So then I was talking to my mission president, and he came to the conclusion that I needed to go home off of my mission to take care of ADHD…. I fought for the longest time against it, because I didn't want to have to rely on medication, and I didn't want to come home from my mission, because Ive only been dreaming about it my whole life… saved up the money to pay for it and all, and I wanted to be there preaching the lords work. So, to say the least, I was not happy at all that he said that. After he told me that, everyday started to get harder and harder.. So one time in the shower (the only time that you aren't with your companion, and for some reason can always think clearly in the shower!) But I started saying a Prayer, and I asked my heavenly father to help me, because I was struggling major! Later that night, I got an over welling feeling to go talk to my mission president again… Not exactly sure of what, but after our classes for the day, I asked him if I could talk to him, alone. We chatted about the mission, baseball, food and whatever… but then the conversation started to die, and he asked me again what I thought about coming home and getting my ADHD medicine taken care of. The lord just put words in my mouth, and I told him I should go home and get that taken care of… I get home and my Mother and I visit the  Dr and we try different medications and dosages. We get it to where the Dr and I feel comfortable with it… Then I asked the Dr when I could go back out to the mission field, and he said 6 months to a year, to where he would feel comfortable letting me go out again. So I felt at that point I should just finish school and except the fact that I would never serve a full time mission….
    ADHD effects me everyday. Sometimes I wake up late and forget to take my medication to help me remember things ( ironic right??) but I can defiantly tell when I don't take my meds…. my thinking goes a little like this..
Ill see a tree, …. Oh cool tree! this tree has those leaves that look like helicopters flying down.. Oh I flew a helicopter once it was awesome!. Back to the tree… what kinda tree is that? I don't know but I really like ponderosa and maple trees.. Then I will think of all my memories associated with the ponderosa ranch I worked as a rec guide a couple of summers ago.. Oh maple! thats my favorite kinda wood baseball bat!! then all my baseball memories!
random memories and songs playing through my head all day! and not be able to put my full attention toward one thing, but think of 1000 things all at once… So you can see, its pretty difficult to fulfill the daunting work the professors give us college students…   But when i remember to take my meds, the world seems to just come together! I can think clear, I am focused and determined to do the best I can, and I can finish assignments fast and remember the material I covered.
 Some disadvantages of ADHD are "difficulty maintaining attention in class. It may be more difficult to follow through with the instructor's directions, which can negatively impact your grades. You may have trouble being still in class and find yourself straining to be still instead of concentrating on coursework. According to Children and Adults With Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, you are more likely to make careless mistakes on your schoolwork. You may also have a tendency to lose or forget important things, such as your homework, calculator or books." that along with career and social difficulties...
      Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/96700-disadvantages-adhd/#ixzz2jQrbZiPa
There are positives with regards to ADHD though! some of those include:
Outgoing
Personable
Perceptually acute
Intuitive (when you miss out on stuff because you’re distracted, you learn to figure things out)
Observant (it seems like inattention, but it often is over attention)
Sees unique relationships between people and things
Looks past surface appearance to the core of people, situations, and issues
Visionaries
Dreamers
 Visual
 Fast thinking
 Quick to grasp essentials
 Insightful
So even though I focus on the negatives of ADHD, I now can see the good parts of it in my personality! It sometimes sucks  not being able to think like a "Normal" person, and with ADHD you often have other things that come into play, like depression, mood swings, dyslexia. but "Normal" people can't think like me, so Its fair… I just wish I could learn faster, but I have to learn to live with my so called "Disability" and do the best I can with what I have! and if you want to read more about adhd I got a lot of useful info from
http://theaddvocates.com/what-is-add-adhd/quick-facts/

When in Rome......

Okay... fine ill tell you about my Trip to Italy!

    Well it started off when a son asked his father about being able to use his passport. 

James, my dad and I went to Italy to field measure some railings and such for the LDS temple they are starting to make in Rome. So thats why we went! 

  Okay story time!

We left SLC airport at like 11:00 am and we had an hour delay because there were some problems with the plane, and after that hour the Pilot said something around "Well, I dont want to sit here anymore, so.... we will fill up with more gas and give it a go and hopefully we make it to NY" so that was scary, but we made it to NY with no further problems. The problems all started when we got to NY (More reasons why i hate that dumb state!" but we had to RUN across the airport to get to our plane and we made it in time, but the we sat in the plane for 3 hours because of delays such as: Fixing the plane so we could fly, gas problems, and rain. So basically it was terrible getting crammed on this plane with tons of stinky Italians. The flight was pretty freaking long, like 9 hours. and there was a horde of little italian girls that didnt stop talking theeeee entire flight! luckily I was able to fall asleep for the most part! 

We finally make it to Italy after having a broken plane. We land and wait at baggage claim for an hour. NOthing shows up, so we go to the problem with baggage line and wait in line for another hour and sign the paper that has the airport deliver our bags to our hotel room, because those Stupid New Yorkers literally forgot an entire giant thing of peoples bags! So our old neighbor Ugo picked us up and brought us to his friends diner. It was AMAZING! Real Italian food is really good! We eventually make it to our hotel in the Ghetto of Rome, but it was still pretty nice . "The ARS"

We got settled in and walked around town to get gelato, then went to sleep because we had to start work in the morning. Woke up and got breakfast which was croissants and cold cuts. then we got a taxi and went to the Temple site. Measured things and we went to lunch at this little bar place and ordered some panini's. work work blah blah blah, take a taxi to the hotel and almost hit grips of people on scooters. Once we got back we wondered around more and found a good pizzeria and My dad was leading the way, while james and I are watching him communicate through a series of hand motions and weird non verbal communication we got a table on the upper deck. We sat down and tried to make some sense of the Menu. ( they dont have free water, so the bottle of water are like 5 euro and most the time are carbonated) ate are delicious food and got more gelato ( We went to Gori Gelato EVERY single night because it was so amazing!) 

Tuesday we just worked and ate gelato. Wednesday was about the same but that night instead of strolling through the sketchy streets, we went down town Rome to eat. We were driving down the road and turn a corner then BAM!!! colosseum! 

 

Thursday we just worked and explored more and walked in on a catholic mass at a new church ( Which was 450 years old) 

 

Friday was the day we got to explore!!

Woke up and caught a taxi to St Peters Square 

from there we walked to a tourist ticket place to buy tickets to get into the Sistine Chapel and St. Peters Basilica! 

Entrance into The Vatican City!!

St Peters Basilica! The highest point was 420 feet high! everything was made out of Travertine, marble and stone. everything was sculpted from dudes with chisels and they did incredible work!

This is where Peter of the 12 disciples remains are kept

Sistine Chapel museum.. couldnt take pictures in the actual chapel, but imagine a GIANT room full of these pictures! It is the exact dimensions of Solomon's Temple!

From that Absolutely incredible place we WALKED from Vatican City to the Pantheon. 

From the pantheon we went to thee Trevi Fountain

We ate at the Trevi fountain and it was the best meal ive ever had! we were SO exhausted from walking in the Hot Italian heat all day! Also the best Coke ive had like... EVER

From the fountain we went to the capitol building

such a cool building with angels riding chariots! 

And finally we went to thee COLOSSEUM!! 

Seriously the coolest thing I've ever been able to enjoy in my life! It honestly seemed kinda fake until I was able to Stand in the same places those Crazy Romans did while cheering for people hunting animals, watching animal fights, executing criminals(which I think is a pretty good idea), recreating old battles and Finally The GLADIATOR matches! They made the Woman sit at the very top of the stadium because they believed that if a woman made solid eye contact with a gladiator, he could impregnate her! But really... Ive dreamt about coming here for as long as a can remember! 

After spending quite some time there and getting sick of our stuck up tour guide we went to the Roman Forum!

The Forum was build in the 1st century, so Its pretty neat having chilled exactly where the Ancient Romans did! the Forum was the main place to meet, hangout, had the court of law there and many other things! At the very top of it, is a place called " Palestine Hill" that was the Hollywood of Roman TImes. Anybody who was anybody lived on that hill, and most particularly The Almighty Caesar at that time!!

So Pretty much friday was one of the best days of my life! Im planning on teaching history as a career, so it just was that much more cool!! I hope to someday be able to go back! ( I threw a coin in the Trevi Fountain, so It promises ill be back in my life time, I just hope its soon!) I want to also explore the other Mediterranean places like Greece and Turkey and so on. But until then i'm completely satisfied with my adventures so far! Caio!!