" I got so good at the game, no one could tell that I was faking sane."

Sometimes you just have to be mature enough to admit that you are wrong.  I, being very immature, don't know that lesson too well yet. I  can not take someone's word for something, I have to go and find things out for myself. For example, Lets say you ask a close friends opinion on if you should actively try to get to know this girl/ date her. He says no, she's a sketchy hefer that moves on to a new guy every week and just talks to you to get free dinner for that week. I have to ask her out to see if she is really like that, and yeeeep the friend was right. Or you ask someone about going to a particular area of interest and he says, that it is close to impossible to go to and find, unless someone already showed you where it is. I have to try to find those places. Guess you could say that this part of my personality has some good to it, in the way that I'm always questioning what I hear and that I have to find out for myself what I was told. On the other hand, It could save me SO much time, effort, sleep, heartbreak and money if I only was better at listening to what people tell me.
I tell you this, because I've been thinking about the times my parents  try to give me advice on things that they have learned first hand about life and the lessons they've learned from it. But no, I am way, way to stubborn to believe that what happened to my parents would be relevant to me in this day and age, because I know my self better than anyone, so how could anyone else have anything that could help me succeed....  just like a coach of a sports team, everyone has some great personal insight on how to play this crazy game of life that we are all a part of. I need to be better at learning lessons of other peoples mistakes, so that I don't commit the same mistake. Kind of like the whole "those who don't understand history are bound to repeat it."  That's totally me, I can't take someone's word for something I have to go find out for myself. I am only 21 years old and have only temporarily been out of my parents house for about 3 years. So, obviously I have  a great understanding of how to be an adult, how the real world works and how to succeed on my own... NOT... I have some what of a pride issue and think that I can not let anyone know that I am not doing anything but being the most happy person in the universe at all times and that nothing ever goes wrong and everything is always perfect at all times.  Well, that's a lie. I often struggle with a lot of things, that I don't like to tell people about. I guess I'm not just the happy go lucky, class clown person that I try to portray myself as. I get scared of many things, many things that don't make sense to a lot of people, like monkeys, being in cold water, those micro fiber towel type things and wind storms because I can't fathom how wind works..... like its not there, and then its there. Its weird.......
    What I wanted to get to with this post was that  everyone's fighting their own battles, and they might not show you or let you know what's going on, so be nice to people. ALso, I would like to tell my parents how much I love and appreciate them for everything that they do. I take for granted so many things my parents help me with, because I have to prove to myself that I am worth something and that I can be independent and succeed on my own... the truth is, I'm a baby and can't do anything. I don't know why I even try to convince myself that I can do things on my own. I know eventually I will have to take care of my self, but that's why I should find a wife so she can take care of me (that's for you Niki G)
I just know I need to start being a better son, brother, friend and student and things will happen for the better. When things get rough, keep pushing, but you always have help by your side and so many loved ones in your corner there to help you when you need it the most.
Family Forever.
"Tough times don't last, tough people do."- I can't remember....

“Knowledge, like air, is vital to life. Like air, no one should be denied it.”

              Between listening to Rise Against, watching V for vendetta and law abiding citizen, and my readings for environmental psychology and natural resources, may be causing my rebel, conspirator or even my inner Che Guevara to be brought to light. No I don't believe in over throwing the government or do any crazy, radical terroristic threat to anyone or anywhere. But I do believe that we should be more aware of the world around us. The book I had to read for En Psych, was called "Zeitoun" its about a guy from Syria that through a long course of events, ends up starting a family and a promising construction company in New Orleans. The story plays out like this: (Sorry for spoilers, but oh well im saving you time. unless you do still do want to read it.) The year was 2005, and there have been hurricane warnings for the gulf areas. Zeitoun, doesn't want to leave his house, and the many other properties which he looks over, up to mother nature. So, his family leaves for Baton Rouge, and he decided to ride out the storm in his house, in hope that he can save major damage from happening to his properties. Hurricane Katrina happens.... throughout the actual hurricane, his house did not happen to suffer any major destruction, but the aftermath is where the story really begins. After the storm had run its course, the levees that protect New Orleans from these kind of natural events, collapsed and made an already sketchy New Orleans city into something you might see on a post-apocalyptic video game "Fallout". after the city had been mostly flooded and many areas had been completely consumed by water, there was anarchy that followed. people were robbing, raping, killing, stealing other people for simple supplies like water and food. Others formed gang like operations and would loot people, their houses, the stores for essentials and other goods like, boats, generators and so forth. While this was going on, multiple armed forces teams, police and hired guns from all over the country were send to the remains of NOLA. These were war ready army forces that were going to go to the middle east, to fight our war on terrorism, but were transferred to NOLA to uphold the peace. What went on in the after math of Katrina was horrific. Zeitoun luckily had a old aluminum canoe that he would go around and help people get off their homes roofs, out of their houses and would often times bring supplies to those in need. while canoeing around, he found some old friends who also stayed back during the storm. He and his 3 friends ended up getting arrested  in a swat team like procedure because they were assumed to be looters and terrorists. they were then sent to make shift prisons (that didn't exist) of which were treated very, very badly.

                How much power does our government have over us, what can they do and how much do they hide from us? Granted, I wouldn't want to tell my entire country that wrongs that I have done, how much they are in danger or how to deal with incredibly controversial subjects either. Somethings are good for us to be  oblivious to, it keeps us happy not knowing what all is going around us. But there are certain things that you can not hide from the people. Like the mistreatment of a lot of hurricane Katrina survivors for instance.... aaaaaaand Yucca Mountain. If you don't know what it is, its  70,000 metric ton facility for nuclear waste. Nuclear waste from all over the United States, but mostly the east. Nuclear waste that will take up to 10,000 years to not be detrimental for your health. how exactly are they going to move the waste from the east, to the desert of Nevada..... trucks and trains......
 Transporting waste to Yucca Mountain puts the American public at risk. More than 123 million people live near the proposed truck and train routes which would be used to deliver waste to Yucca Mountain. Those routes travel through 703 counties in 44 states. An accident or attack along those routes could hurt or kill thousands of innocent people.

I don't know if you notice, but the transportation mostly would go through 1-80 and 1-15 to make it to Yucca. The nuclear waste would have to pass through SLC and Cedar. To remove the waste completely,  they would have to send trucks as big as football fields many times for 25-30 years. and what if an accident happened and a truck crashed? that surrounding 30 mile radius would be deemed as " Uninhabitable"

         Again, I'm not saying that we need to over throw our government in hopes of  "new world order"  I do however believe that we need to be a more educated people, know who we are voting for and hold our government more accountable for wrongs that are done and work together to solve and help when it comes to Natural disasters and man made disasters like In Japan, where an earthquake caused a tsunami, running into and destroying a nuclear power plant.

“People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.”  

The king of silence

With all the recent media attention regarding Robin WIlliams, I feel obligated to talk about what  none of us want to talk about, and that's depression. Depression is very serious and dangerous thing that surrounds us everyday. We are all fighting our own wars inside our heads and hearts, and there are something's that we can't explain through words, but we fight everyday. I don't have depression, but I do have ADHD, and with ADHD, you have other side affects such as dyslexia ( which I have some of)  and sometimes depression. (which is causes because of an imbalance of  chemicals in the brain)  because of that I sometimes have mood swings and have a hard time controlling my emotions. I couldn't actually imagine  having be really Depressed. I know what its like to be in the darkest darks, where it seems like the end of the tunnel will never come and you will never seen the light. With that being said, I would like to challenge anyone reading this, to just over all be a nicer person. We can all be more nice to more people throughout the day. When I do make it a point to say hi to random people at campus or  just being nicer to ,my friends and family I notice a major impact in how my day goes, I'm more optimistic, and look forward to more adventures throughout the day.
I'm no where near where I would like to be when it comes to being a good person. I still am very selfish and often times see the negative in most every situation, but I'm trying my best to be the best friend, son, brother and person I can be.
     Along with depression, we also need to be better listeners to our close ones problems, as small as the problem may be, it always feels so good to be able to discuss your day with your trusted friend
  To conclude, ill leave this to you, be a better friend and listener, its okay to be sad, its completely normal., but don't let it ruin your life. Look for the good in life, because it has so much to offer. Don't be a bully, speak up and say how you feel, don't let people push you around.


"Cause no one is born the King Of Silence
So choose your voice
So speak up, don't back down
Don't wear that crown
Let your voice scream out!
Born the King Of Silence." - We came as romans

I like to explore and stuff...

I'm sitting at home not moving, because my bud and I at 11:30 at night on Friday decided to go hike a giant mountain at 5 am. So I am VERY sore, and can't move around very well, so I decided to write this blog.

    While hiking that treacherous mountain, I was thinking about all of my life expeditions and all the places I've been blessed to be on and go. This last year has been the hardest year of my life to this point. Ever since I broke and tore my foot my Sr year of high school, my life has changed dramatically. And in those changing times, ive felt lost more times than not. Often I wouldn't know where I was going, where I wanted to go, how I would get there or even where I was and what I could offer to this world. When I was in American literature this last fall semester, we read Emerson, Thoreau, Whitman, London and all sorts of other authors that write about exploring and finding yourself. I have always been one to adventure and find out where things go and how stuff works( I mean-- my friend Jake and I went to Louisiana a few days after graduating high school, simply because ... Why not! ) I've been to so many incredible places throughout my life because of baseball and various things, because of that I think I have a rare condition called..... Wanderlust.. A rare condition that makes you lust for adventure, never being still and exploring new places to find yourself in ( that and ADHD haha).  while in a state of wanderlust, I read Walden by H.D Thoreau and in it, he writes about living in the wilderness, why he lives there, and a lot about being self reliant. I kinda took to heart the whole "get lost to find yourself" thing. While trying to find myself, I've
Explored a lot, a lot by myself too, because I just don't have time for sketchy people.. I mean last second, then all of the sudden you have to baby sit, family party and do some homework. Its like, I get it... But that's why I've been to a lot of places alone, just me in the cool , crisp mountain air thinking about life.
After a while, I was never really getting answers to anything I wanted to know. While thinking about that, I realized I was slacking in the whole being spiritual game. I wasn't doing anything bad, I just wasn't being as good as I should. And by that I mean, would pretty much only go to sacrament, because there was always some good mlb, NBA, college or NFL game on to watch. Then one weekend I was home from school, and was cleaning my room, and I found this picture that has been in my room for as long as I can remember. It was a picture of Jesus and the caption was "Find me first, and then you will find yourself " this hit me like ... Really hard, and made me realize I was trying to get answers the wrong way. It helped remind me, that as independent and self reliant as I think I am, I can't accomplish the things I want to without the lords help.

"If Baseball is just a game, then the Grand Canyon is just a hole in the ground."

With Presidents day nearing, I've been thinking about what I have done the past presidents day's, and most every single one of them have ended up in St. George playing baseball. Thinking back on that, got me looking back at my entire baseball career, and how baseball has affected who I am today.

     I started playing baseball (well… T ball) around 3 or 4, and pretty much played every single day until I was a Sr in High School. I was always very blessed with such great teammates, coaches and especially parents, who have supported me my whole life with what every crazy idea that would pop into my head! When I was about 8, was when my baseball career started to take flight. From 8 years old, to 18, I played with the same kids! well, Minus a few here and there! I remember everybody  on my teams and and pretty good friends with all of them, to this day. Starting from when we were 8 , we always had great skill and competitiveness for the game. That, along with  having INCREDIBLE coaches that spent countless hours upon hours with us so that we could be the best that we could be. Again, around 8, our Taylorsville little league team that won state our first year together, decided to make a "Super League" traveling team called the TUFF COUNTRY PREDATORS! To say the least… we were really really good. I can recall the few games we lost, and who we played, what field we were playing on, what position I was playing….. With this Predator team, I was able to travel around the US for various tournaments, and some of those were: St George( countless times), Vegas for Legion Regionals, Cooperstown NY when we were 12, Omaha during the college world series, steamboat springs, phoenix, california… to name some! The Predators were together until our last tournament when we were 14 in Omaha. The majority of that Predators team continued to play together at Taylorsville high school, but a few moved and switched schools. 

   I can ramble on for literally days about my baseball days…. but Im writing this to not talk about my past, but how it has shaped who I am now…. As many of yall know, baseball is "Game of Failure" you are highly praised if you succeed in hitting the ball 3 out of 10 times… You are always practicing so hard for when it is your chance, you might not get the ball hit to you every time, but when it is coming your way, you better be ready for it! Baseball has made me learn to have a quick memory, to not focus on the past failures, but to always practice and play harder for the successful times. I have learned to stay committed to a cause, even when thats the last thing on this earth that you would want to to, still keep your focus on the bigger goal and not the present time when everything seems to be at its worst. It has taught me to work with a team, and how an individual may be very important, but no one is successful unless you work together. Baseball has taught me to think ahead at the possible outcomes that lay ahead and to determine wether to take those risks or not. It has helped me take more chances and if the outcome isn't what I wanted, to not pout about it, but to work harder towards my goals. 

       Baseball has changed my life, and it just took not being able to play, to realize how much I love it! There are so many life skills and values that this game teaches you. Like the Incredible John Wayne said “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” Don't be afraid to fail, because the only way you can truly fail, is when you give up! I miss playing everyday, but I love to watch my little brother, cousins and old teammates play!

I'd play the victim, but I only have myself to blame.

As we all know, life can take us on a roller coaster ride of emotion. Any day could turn out to be one of the best days of your life, where everything is going extremely well! You wake up on time, you go to class and actually understand the subject matter that was presented, then you take a nap with no interruptions, to then wake up, drink Mtn Dew and make a dinner of elk steak, then play a basketball game and play somewhat decent to then getting to hangout with this extremely cool and beautiful girl you've been to scared to talk to, since like the 2nd week of school. Thats a good day to me! But often times than not, the stars do not line up like that, and you end up waking up late for math, showing up late and having NO idea what you are doing. Then you continue to go to your classes, and continue to get even more confused with how cellular respiration works, how ATP is made, and how inverse functions mean anything to the real world. Then you go to your apt and find out you ate all of your microwavable meals, and you don't have a can opener, and no money to go to 1 of the 3 places to eat in this town. and get…( okay, you get the point) sometimes life can suck! But most everyday, I make things, about…… 100,000 x more difficult or confusing than they need to be! Its amazing, how for a lot of things, I couldn't care less about. Then somethings I care WAY to much about, and it seriously can ruin my day, even week sometimes! Good nit! During college football season, Pretty much all of my small attention span, is used to concentrate  on everything that involves LSU.
    To say the least, "we" as Humans, often times take things for granted and disregard things that aren't important to us, but could be the most important thing to someone else. Like giving old/ not very used items of clothing to friends or to strangers at the DI, that are not in as good of situations as us. Giving a ride to someone that is walking across our frozen tundra of a campus, so that they aren't almost getting frost bite by the time they get to class.
       We can always do more for others, and I know that when I help others more than myself, I feel a lot better about who I am, and how life is going. Trust me, its not easy at all to serve others more than yourself, but when you do, you feel more at peace and more positive and happy…Don't  take this as, that I think I'm some perfect saint or what ever.. because I feel like I am very selfish and only look to please myself, but when I do go out of my way to help others, my "problems" seem to diminish rapidly.
         So I think we all can do better job of realizing what we have, and not making a big deal of things we don't have.. We all have SO much to offer, we just have to discover where our skills and personalities flourish. I know that I am not good at math, science and most everything that takes place in a class room, I can't be an accountant, business man, or a military man. But I know that I am good at reading and dealing with other people, and with that skill of working with people, combined with my love of history and the outdoors, has made me a good Adventure Guide.

     I guess to wrap up my thoughts, (again) we all have so much to offer, and we should all try to be more positive toward our endeavors and really that we aren't just dust in the wind, that we are not meaningless and we all have a purpose on this earth. Also, We need to realize how much we are blessed with ( I'm really, really bad at this) and we need to put more emphasis on the positives and not so much on the negatives.. The negatives are good ( I know it never seems like it) if we use them right, and learn from them! Quit being your worst enemy and losing the game, before it even starts. And when no body believes in you and life seems to be the darkest, you better believe in yourself.

Into the Wild

With school starting tomorrow, I feel inspired to write a blog about all of the other things I would rather be doing, and those include: eating Boudin till I pass out,  Drinking Tremendous amounts of Mtn Dew, getting a horse and chasing sunsets, getting a snowmobile and riding up some mountain until I run out of gas, then go snowshoeing and survive in the wilderness, or maybe swallowing glass…. what ever the case may be, I still have to go to school this semester to finish up my associate of science, and pre reqs for my outdoor recreation degree at SUU next fall. With that being said, I plan on being in school for the next couple years, to finish my bachelors degree, so I might as well try to make the most of my college experience. When the semester first starts, one of two things happens. You either start off gung-ho and do work at the beginning and go hard for the first couple weeks, until your first exam, then you kinda abandon ship. Or you start off hating class and dreading it for the whole semester.. Well, I think its better to work hard since you are paying for it ( or work harder because your parents are paying for it) either way, someone is paying some serious money for you to attend higher education. Sometimes the semester seems like a major drag, and sometimes it is, but in hind site it is incredibly short! every semester I seem to go to, ends up going by faster than the last one, which went by very fast. Just like in sports practice, it seems like the worst when you have extra conditioning, or weights after practice. studying is in a way just like that, it is absolutely terrible while you are doing it, but when you study or work hard in general, there is never a bad side effect. You might not get to go out with your buds one night, or take a cute gal you've had your eye on for a while, but it'll all work out in the end for the better!

I guess to get back to the title// Into The wild……

last semester I had an American Literature class, in which we read, read and read some more. sometimes awful, but other times great! My favorite times in class were when we got to read thoreau and whitman! These authors painted incredible pictures of life in the Wild, that got my imagination going! during class while we would discuss these topics, my mind was really never in class, but somewhere in an untamed land with no laws and natures justice ruling the land! Somewhere that you didn't have to worry about school, peoples very sensitive feelings, fashion and random peoples drama.. a place where you're animal instincts come in, and you just survive. 

Unless I move to remote Alaska, Canada or Russia thats most likely not going to happen, so I'm going to make the  most out of my situation at hand in O Little town of Ephraim. My degree is going to be in outdoor recreation so not only I can participate in the finer activities of life, but so I can show others what its like to really like to LIVE WILD and experience nature for the better. To not be scared of the wild unknown, but to embrace and harness that inner explorer inside them! To keep the semester from getting to dull, I chose to take a Backpackng and a bowling class! Besides that, I made a goal to at least once a week, to go out and explore!

Well, Ace, Im out of here for now, but remember to make the most out of your situations and LIVE WILD!