" I got so good at the game, no one could tell that I was faking sane."

Sometimes you just have to be mature enough to admit that you are wrong.  I, being very immature, don't know that lesson too well yet. I  can not take someone's word for something, I have to go and find things out for myself. For example, Lets say you ask a close friends opinion on if you should actively try to get to know this girl/ date her. He says no, she's a sketchy hefer that moves on to a new guy every week and just talks to you to get free dinner for that week. I have to ask her out to see if she is really like that, and yeeeep the friend was right. Or you ask someone about going to a particular area of interest and he says, that it is close to impossible to go to and find, unless someone already showed you where it is. I have to try to find those places. Guess you could say that this part of my personality has some good to it, in the way that I'm always questioning what I hear and that I have to find out for myself what I was told. On the other hand, It could save me SO much time, effort, sleep, heartbreak and money if I only was better at listening to what people tell me.
I tell you this, because I've been thinking about the times my parents  try to give me advice on things that they have learned first hand about life and the lessons they've learned from it. But no, I am way, way to stubborn to believe that what happened to my parents would be relevant to me in this day and age, because I know my self better than anyone, so how could anyone else have anything that could help me succeed....  just like a coach of a sports team, everyone has some great personal insight on how to play this crazy game of life that we are all a part of. I need to be better at learning lessons of other peoples mistakes, so that I don't commit the same mistake. Kind of like the whole "those who don't understand history are bound to repeat it."  That's totally me, I can't take someone's word for something I have to go find out for myself. I am only 21 years old and have only temporarily been out of my parents house for about 3 years. So, obviously I have  a great understanding of how to be an adult, how the real world works and how to succeed on my own... NOT... I have some what of a pride issue and think that I can not let anyone know that I am not doing anything but being the most happy person in the universe at all times and that nothing ever goes wrong and everything is always perfect at all times.  Well, that's a lie. I often struggle with a lot of things, that I don't like to tell people about. I guess I'm not just the happy go lucky, class clown person that I try to portray myself as. I get scared of many things, many things that don't make sense to a lot of people, like monkeys, being in cold water, those micro fiber towel type things and wind storms because I can't fathom how wind works..... like its not there, and then its there. Its weird.......
    What I wanted to get to with this post was that  everyone's fighting their own battles, and they might not show you or let you know what's going on, so be nice to people. ALso, I would like to tell my parents how much I love and appreciate them for everything that they do. I take for granted so many things my parents help me with, because I have to prove to myself that I am worth something and that I can be independent and succeed on my own... the truth is, I'm a baby and can't do anything. I don't know why I even try to convince myself that I can do things on my own. I know eventually I will have to take care of my self, but that's why I should find a wife so she can take care of me (that's for you Niki G)
I just know I need to start being a better son, brother, friend and student and things will happen for the better. When things get rough, keep pushing, but you always have help by your side and so many loved ones in your corner there to help you when you need it the most.
Family Forever.
"Tough times don't last, tough people do."- I can't remember....